One of my biggest obstacles to succeeding at a low carb diet… is onion rings.
Actually, I guess it’s my laziness and unpreparedness and love of completely shitty nutrient-void food, combined with the availability of fast food chains in my area. I get snacky, but don’t feel like cooking, much less washing dishes in order to actually place food on them. If I’m at home, I end up just crying myself to sleep or something, because the super-small town I live in doesn’t have any fast food restaurants. If I’m visiting my husband, however, I get really excited, excited enough to even put on pants, because the sweet scent of rancid deep-fryer oil and grade-F meat emanates from Kitimat’s downtown core, only a few kilometres away.
So I hop in my car — the only nearby drive-thrus are Tim Horton’s, Dairy Queen and A&W. Two out of the three restaurant chains serve burgers, which I can eat bunless, and thus adhere to my diet with no issues. Two out of three ALSO serve onion rings. I love onion rings. Onion rings are not low in carbs and generally should not be eaten if you value health. Apparently I do not care and also have poor impulse control. Bad decisions tend to happen in the drive-thru lane.
LUCKILY FOR ME, my friend Nicole just found this crazy link to this amazing-looking recipe. We both enjoy barbecuing and bacon, and also I was sitting right next to her and probably talking about bacon at that very moment, because I am a conversational wizard. So it just seemed natural that she should send it to me. I looked at it and said, “this should go on my blog.” Then I had to explain to her that my blog is pretty basic and is pretty much involves just me posting links to other blogs, hoping for people as hapless and lazy as me to stumble over them eventually while they desperately search the internet for ways to stave off their irresponsible yet irrepressible drive-through cravings. But really, this blog is so much more than random and poorly described links with no pictures (because I’m afraid of copyright infringement). IT IS A BEACON OF HOPE for those of us who need to make low-carb food that tastes good but who don’t understand what a food processor is, and aren’t willing to special order weird, expensive ingredients like coconut manna, stevia, and xanthan gum.
So that is where the bacon-wrapped onion ring comes in — an amazing substitute for my snack nemesis. And you can make it yourself without special equipment or obscure ingredients — no need to go to go to a specialty store (or A&W). So brilliant, so simple. Why did I not think of this before? Possibly because the lack of carbohydrates is affecting my brain function and now my body is eating it’s own tissue to survive. Just kidding! It’s because, on the best and most neurologically functioning of days, the limit of my creativity pretty much extends to putting googly eyes on my boss’s office supplies. I have no time to think about such trivial matters as feeding myself, much less precious minutes to spend on making my meals not be soul crushing and disgusting. That’s why I rely so heavily on the internet recipes of strangers to make life worth living.
Also, this blog looks really cool, and currently Nicole and I are using it to explore all things barbecue. Hurray!
You can grill, bake, or probably even hot-smoke these — no need for a deep fryer.
HERE IS THE LINK: SMOKED BACON WRAPPED ONION RINGS WITH SRIRACHA MAYO DIPPING SAUCE. HNNNNNNG